How will you be found?

Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Where will you be when your miracle finds you? Will you be found waiting? Or will you be found living?

This slogan of my season has become etched on my heart and a permeant fixture hanging on my kitchen wall. It simply says "Found Living". While the phrasing may be simple, it has become a life-force that continuously propels me forward while my husband, John, and I walk though our season of infertility. These two simple words have become the mandate of how I choose - how we choose - to walk through each day of this journey. These words are the echo of what God has been speaking to me as we wait.

So what does Found Living mean? Simply put I want it to be said of me that when my miracle finds me, I was found living.

There's a resolve I have when I think about our infertility journey and the promises of God. I know what God has spoken, promised, and will do. But the journey to those promises? That's a whole other beast.

It's full of ups and down, twists and turns, good days and bad, hope and joy. There's been moments along the way where I've became trapped by the pain, trapped by the longing, trapped by grief and trapped by the waiting - and I've forgotten to live. There's been times where I've missed what was right in front of me - all of Gods goodness, mercy, and blessings - the prayers He's already answered. There's been moments where I've became numb to the life I have right here, right now.

Until I heard the words "Be found living".

I knew in my heart, that it was time for a shift in how this season was to be lived. These simple words revived my soul and turned me from a victim of a diagnosis to a warrior standing firm in the promises of God.

This season and journey is still filled with waiting, hoping, contending, and longing. But it's also filled with laughter, excitement, and joy. Yes, it's filled with doctor's appointments and tests but it's also filled with new adventures, new hobbies, and saying "yes" to things that scare me. It's filled with dreaming of what could be but also living in the reality and beauty of what is. It's ceasing every day and treating it like the gift it really is. It's choosing to live in the abundant life Christ paid for me, even when I'm waiting.

And that's what I want to be said of me. I want It to be said that my miracle found me living. That my life didn't start "when" but that my miracle simply caught me. It caught me serving the Lord with all my heart. It caught me loving my husband well. It caught me trying new things and discovering who I am. It found me immersed in rich friendships and pursing my dreams. It found me learning how to cook and tapping into my creative side. It found me becoming the best version of myself - It found me stewarding my season well.

That's all I want - to be found living - So that when my miracle finds me, it only adds to my life - it doesn't start it.

Is there a miracle you're waiting for? An answer? A hope deferred? While you're waiting, can it also be said that you were found living?

-XO, Ashley